my first trimester with TWINS!

I am going to try REALLY hard to write this post without sounding whiny and ungrateful, because I really, truly know how big of a blessing it is to be able to carry babies.  But I can't sugar coat it and pretend it was all rainbows and unicorns, because that simply just isn't my story.

With that being said, my first trimester carrying the twins was probably one of (if not the) hardest times in my life.  I wasn't sick at all from the moment of finding out I was pregnant up until the ultrasound finding out they were twins.  I remember thinking "maybe I'll be super lucky and just not be sick this time?!" but a couple days after the ultrasound I started feeling it.  Each week got worse, and by the time I was about 8 or 9 weeks along I was so, so incredibly sick.  Each and every hour was  spent in survival mode, praying that bedtime would come soon, because the only time I was not nauseated or running to the bathroom was when I was asleep.  After losing one too many pounds and calling the nurses at my dr's office, they said to start taking a combination of a sleeping/allergy pill that's safe for pregnancy and Vitamin B6.  This helped a TINY bit so that I was able to eat breakfast each morning.  Steve would make me scrambled eggs and toast every single morning, and the rest of the day was spent eating crackers, sucking on lemon sour candies, and trying to choke down an occasional carrot or fruit.  It was bad, and I cried a lot.  I prayed a lot.  It was such a dark time, but I knew I needed to get through it for my babies.

To be honest, I have no idea how I got through it.  Steve definitely helped out a ton, and it was a huge blessing December just so happens to be his slow month at work.  I layed down the majority of most days, I'd have the kids bring books to me so I could still interact with them a bit.  But they definitely watched a LOT of Disney movies.  I went to bed most days between 7 and 8.  I remember a few nights being so sick that I passed out at 6:30.  Anything to escape the nausea.

Thankfully, like clockwork, once the second trimester hit I quickly started feeling better.  I was probably 100% back to normal around 15 weeks.  I was so, so grateful that I didn't end up being one of those pregnant women who throw up the whole 9 months.  I was already so frail, pale, and losing so much weight and worried about the babies so much.  I've been eating like a cow ever since food started tasting good again!  Now that I'm 20 weeks I've gained back all the weight I lost, and have added two pounds too.  Not ideal for a twin pregnancy, but I'm working on packing on the protein.

As for how I'm doing now, I feel AMAZING!  Surprisingly so far I've had zero heart burn, restless leg syndrome, and I haven't even had to get up to pee in the middle of the night once.  Those are usually my pregnancy complaints.  If I do a little too much during the day, I have a back ache at night, but other than that, I seriously feel like a whole new woman!  I also sleep great at night and am usually able to sneak in a nap once or twice a week.  I know this dreamy stage won't last long (I've heard twin third trimesters are ROUGH) so I'm enjoying my very last pregnancy while I can.

I think the best part about feeling better is now I can really get excited about these babies! We've started buying gear - we needed new car seats since our infant one is expired, a twin bassinet, crib mattress, Bumbo, etc.  Basically we need one more of everything that we already have!  We have decided on names which I am so excited about.  We named them pretty quickly, and the girls all refer to the twins by name, even Ella. :)

I've been reading and researching a ton on how to nurse twins, tricks to get them to sleep, etc.  I feel like a first time mom all over again, basically.  During my "dark December" I was so overwhelmed at the thought of twins on top of being sick, but since then I've felt so up to the challenge and excited.  I get to have TWINS.  My own little Mary Kate and Ashley.  (Minus the rehab and drugs please.) Before I kept thinking about how hard it was going to be but now I just feel like one of the lucky few that get to experience this.

I haven't really felt movement yet surprisingly, but I am starting to have Braxton Hick contractions, which is pretty wild.  When I get them I feel TWO hard lumps on the sides of my lower abdomen.  It really feels real that there is TWO when they happen.

Here is my bump at from 17-19 weeks.  It stayed pretty small up until about 17 weeks and now I feel like I look at least 25 weeks in my last pregnancies!